Worth the Risk
by MoonytheMarauder1
Summary: Tensions run high during the war, but they'll always try to return to each other. Wolfstar, First War.


**A/N: Hey y'all! This was written… because I needed to work through some writer's block. :P**

**Word Count: 1491**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Harry Potter. Those rights go to JK Rowling.**

**Thanks to Angela for beta-ing!**

**Enjoy!**

Remus laughed as Sirius flew into the wall, triumphant as he held his wand in front of himself. Sirius sat up with a groan, rubbing his head and shooting Remus an irritated look.

"You didn't have to do it so hard," he grumbled as he got to his feet.

Remus simply shrugged as he crossed the room to his boyfriend. "All's fair in love and war," he quoted cheekily. He held out a hand to Sirius. "Come on, love. You know Moody wants us to practice duelling."

Sirius allowed Remus to pull him to his feet. "He's clearly never duelled you before, though."

"Mmm." Remus leaned in to peck his boyfriend's cheek. "You flatter me. Come on, Padfoot; let's go grab a bite."

Sirius tucked an arm around Remus' waist as he nodded his agreement, and the two walked through the flat they shared and into the kitchen. Remus let Sirius guide him to the kitchen table and watched, amused, as the black-haired man pottered about the kitchen.

"Feeling domestic, are you?" Remus called out.

Sirius glanced over his shoulder from where he was messing about in the cupboard. "Ha ha. I'm getting you hot chocolate, so you might as well be nice to me."

Remus was pleasantly surprised, and he raised his brows to show it. "Are you, now? What brought this on?"

Sirius pouted. "Do I need a reason to express my love and devotion?"

Remus huffed out a laugh. "Yeah, you do. What're you buttering me up for, then?"

Sirius turned away to grab a mug, but Remus heard his response anyway. "I need to stay late this week for Auror training."

The smile fell from Remus' lips. It was the midst of a war, and just waiting for Sirius to come home after normal hours was torture. The extra time he'd be alone in their flat, wondering if Sirius was still okay… it would be torture.

Remus gripped the edge of his chair tightly. "Pads…"

"I know." Sirius glanced over his shoulder again. "It's necessary, though. And I promise I'll call to check in with you every couple of hours, all right?"

Remus felt a lump forming in his throat. "How… how late are you planning on staying?"

Sirius carried the two mugs of hot chocolate he'd made over to Remus. He slid the navy blue one over. "Late."

Remus scrubbed at his eyes with the heel of his palm. "I'm not going to be seeing you very much, am I?"

Sirius winced and reached out to grip Remus' hand. "Not if you want to sleep."

Remus looked away; that hadn't been the answer he'd wanted to hear. Being unemployed, most of his time was dedicated to the Order—but nearly all of it was intelligence work he did from home. The thought of being alone for days on end with only the occasional call from Sirius filled his stomach with dread.

He sighed heavily and took a sip of the warm drink; it didn't comfort him as much as he wished it would. "I'll miss you," he murmured.

Sirius squeezed Remus' scarred hand, his grey eyes searching Remus' amber. "And I'll miss you. But it's only for a week. Seven days."

Remus sighed heavily. "Seven days."

Sirius' thumb dragged across Remus' knuckles. "So… are you going to drink that? Normally you're addicted to that stuff—it never lasts long."

Remus took another sip to appease his boyfriend, but his mind was elsewhere.

"Remus." Sirius released the other man's hand and ran his fingers through his hair angrily. "I didn't choose this, okay? And I—it's not like anything's going to happen to me. I can take care of myself."

"I don't know that," Remus argued, offended. "And neither do you. This is a war. Any time spent outside of these wards is a risk, and I won't be there to help you if things go bad—"

"I'm a capable duellist!"

"Damn it, Sirius!" Remus slammed his palms against the table, anger pulsing through his veins. "I _know_ you're capable! I _know_ you're a great wizard! I _know_ you can handle yourself out there! But good wizards still die, especially those who do what you do. I'm worried about you because I _love_ you!"

Sirius was just staring at him, wide-eyed, so Remus stood up, his chair scraping loudly across the floor. He grabbed his cup, took a few long gulps as though he was swallowing whiskey instead of chocolate, and marched into his bedroom.

Once the door slammed behind him, Remus exhaled slowly, some of his frustration leaving him. He was annoyed, yes, but… he might have overreacted some.

Still, he wanted to sleep alone tonight.

Remus set the half-empty mug on the dresser and grabbed a book from the bookshelf, then settled into bed. He kicked off his pants but kept his shirt on, then opened his book and attempted to lose himself in the story.

About fifteen minutes later, there was a knock on the door.

Remus rolled his eyes. "I don't want to talk to you right now."

"Yeah, I know. But I think we need to talk about what happened in there." Sirius' voice was unrelenting.

Remus huffed in annoyance, but grudgingly called out, "Come in, then."

Sirius did so, opening the door quietly and peering at Remus with care, as though assessing the danger. Remus wasn't amused.

Sirius walked cautiously over to the bed and sat on the edge. He hesitantly placed a hand on the lump in the duvet where Remus' foot lay. "So. That's the first time you've ever told me you love me."

Remus frowned sharply. "But I…" That couldn't be right, surely. He'd thought it before turning in for the night, expressed it in his touches and gestures… he must have let the words out at some point.

But then again, Remus had always been bad about letting things go unsaid.

He cleared his throat, rubbing awkwardly at a scar on his cheek. "I thought you knew," he muttered.

"I love you, too," Sirius blurted out. "Just so you know. Because. Because I haven't said it, either."

A small smile graced Remus' lips. "Good to know."

Sirius slid his hand up to Remus' knee, his expression growing solemn. "Hey. I know I should've told you about the extended hours sooner, but really, Moons… I'm going to be okay. I'm going to come home."

Remus closed his eyes. "I don't want to hear your empty promises, Sirius."

"Moony. Love." Sirius leaned forward and grasped Remus' hands tightly in each of his own. "I know that life is unpredictable and that we're in the middle of the war. I'm not an idiot. But I do know that I'll always try my best to get home to you."

Remus closed his eyes. "I know, it's just that…"

Warm lips pressed against Remus' temple. "I can't live without you, either."

Remus allowed himself to lean against Sirius, comfortably nestling his head beneath Sirius' chin. He took in a shuddering breath, then choked out, "I'm scared for you, Padfoot."

His boyfriend was silent for a few seconds. "I'm scared, too," he said at last. Sirius climbed onto the bed properly and tucked Remus under his arm. This was one of the few times Remus wanted to be held, so he relaxed against Sirius' chest and let the older man rub his hand up and down Remus' arm.

Sirius pressed a kiss to Remus' tawny curls. "Remus. I'm scared every time you leave the house, so… so I get it. And I know there are wards in place, but it still makes me nervous leaving you here alone. And—"

"What are you getting at?" Remus interrupted softly.

Sirius' grip on his boyfriend tightened. "You're not the only one that's scared. But we'll both get back to each other—or, we'll try our best to. Right?"

His voice was trembling, and Remus was reminded of the fact that Sirius was _not_ always the careless, unfazeable man he was in public.

He burrowed his head in the hollow of Sirius' neck. "Yeah," he murmured. "Yeah, you're right."

"We'll get through this," Sirius said, confidence leaking into his tone. "You'll see."

Remus didn't respond. He wasn't sure he believed his lover's words, but hope was something he could try to hold on to.

Sirius reached over and retrieved the nearly-empty mug of hot chocolate, which hadn't quite tipped enough to spill over the mattress when Remus had abandoned it. He cast a quick warming charm on it and held it enticingly under Remus' nose. "Want some more?"

Remus rolled his eyes, but he let a grin settle on his face. "You know I do."

Sirius' own grin was dazzling, and Remus pulled him in for a fierce kiss. After a couple moments, Sirius pulled away to whisper, "This is what we're fighting for, Moony," against Remus' lips.

Well. If this was what they were fighting for, then Remus considered it worth the risk.


End file.
